Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Ben Versus The Molehill

I've been trying to figure out how to express what life feels like now that Ben's trach is finally out. I came across these words from Psalm 116 that say it best:

I love the LORD, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy.

Because he turned his ear to me, 
       I will call on him as long as I live...

I was overcome by trouble and sorrow...

The LORD is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion.

The LORD protects the simplehearted; 
       when I was in great need, he saved me.

Be at rest once more, O my soul, 
       for the LORD has been good to you.

For you, O LORD, have delivered my soul from death, 
       my eyes from tears, 
       my feet from stumbling...

How can I repay the LORD 
       for all his goodness to me?

I will lift up the cup of salvation 
       and call on the name of the LORD.

I will fulfill my vows to the LORD 
       in the presence of all his people.

O LORD, truly I am your servant; 
       I am your servant, the son of your maidservant; 
       you have freed me from my chains.

I will sacrifice a thank offering to you 
       and call on the name of the LORD.

I will fulfill my vows to the LORD 
       in the presence of all his people,

in the courts of the house of the LORD—
       in your midst, O Jerusalem. 
       Praise the LORD. 

To see Ben totally healed after the way things started out leaves me speechless.  How can I repay the Lord for all his goodness to me? I want to, but I know I can't.

There have been a few times this past week where it felt like my spirit was touching God. I have never experienced anything like it. I don't even know if those are the right words to describe it. It was like God was pouring out so much grace on me that for a little while I could feel him around me. I wish I could explain it better.

My thank offering to God is to try and pour out some tiny portion of his grace on others. Can you imagine that day when we will walk into God's house and experience that closeness with God and each other forever?

Meanwhile, back on planet earth, we are teaching our child not to eat dirt from the front lawn.