Mystery

I finally got around to reading Phillip Yancey's book "Prayer: Does It Make Any Difference?" It felt good to finish something with a little more depth than Goodnight Moon (though I must say I wouldn't have minded an occasional pop-up page or velcro pig to keep things interesting). The book brought up some issues that I had tucked away in the months after Ben was born.

Many people associated with Oklahoma Christian University were praying for a little girl named Harper Hawley around the time that Ben was in the hospital. I didn't know the Hawley's well, but I was touched by all the struggles they were going through as their baby's health slowly deteriorated.

At times it felt strange to write about all of the answers to prayer we were witnessing while another faithful Christian family had to deal with God's silence and the eventual loss of their child. Both babies had legions of people praying round the clock for their healing, yet God allowed one to live and one to die. How can we say our prayers truly make a difference when we see seemingly arbitrary behavior on God's part? We serve a mysterious God. All I know is that I come home every day to a smiling, healthy baby boy who should not be alive after everything that happened to him. That fact prevents me from saying that prayer doesn't make a difference even though I understand so little about prayer.

On Friday, Ben goes in for his next round of surgery. Dr. Digoy will be taking a look at his vocal folds to see if they're still blocking his airway. If they are, he'll have to do some delicate work to cut back the vocal folds. We're hoping that he may even be able to tell us whether Ben will be able to speak someday. I don't know how prayer works, but I have seen the influence of your past prayers and ask that you continue to pray for Ben's complete healing. The two weeks after Ben's previous surgeries have been very stressful (little sleep, constant suctioning), and if you could pray for peace in our house during that time, we would love it.

Well, Jenny Connell has outdone herself again with Ben's 1st birthday photos. Her ability to bring out all of Ben's expressions is fantastic. I leave you with some of her latest work.