Big Ben

There are so many things I want to say to all of you who have been praying for our little Benjamin. We thank all of you for pouring out your love on us through prayers, calls, visits, and gifts. How can one doubt the love and goodness of God when he uses you as his arms to hold us and his shoulders for us to cry on?

I'd like for you to get a glimpse of what we have gone through these past three days so that the situation will be more real to you as you pray to God. I know it can be difficult to pray for someone when they are just another name on a prayer list. (You can skip to the bottom of this post if you just want to know the basic facts.)

Benjamin's due date was the 28th of December, but he decided that he was quite happy with life in the womb and could wait a few more days for life on the outside . One of our friends suggested that we serve him an eviction notice, but Ben apparently has little respect for the law. Adrienne tried a few other labor-inducing techniques but to no avail. Then we finally figured out what to do. Since Adrienne's family was in town, we decided to take them to an authentic diner on Route 66. Adrienne ordered a plate of cheese fries and a chocolate milkshake. Within minutes Ben must have decided that life on the outside can't be all that bad, and if he was out on his own he wouldn't have to share his cheese fries with mom anymore. Adrienne started having regular contractions so we made our way to St. John Hospital around 7:00 p.m. on December 30th.

Adrienne's mom, Kay, and I were with Adrienne through the whole labor and delivery process. Adrienne wants me to make sure I recommend epidurals to all the future mothers out there. In her words at the time, "This is AMAZING. I haven't felt this good in months." Her labor progressed steadily, and by about 4:00 Sunday morning we knew the time was getting close. Adrienne pushed and pushed but also made time to remind her mother to breathe so she wouldn't pass out while helping to coach the delivery. It was a struggle, but at 5:35 on Sunday morning, December 31st Benjamin Kent Gatewood was born.

I was so proud of Adrienne for how hard she had worked these past nine months to bring Ben into the world. The next thing I knew, a nurse was handing me scissors and telling me to cut the umbilical cord. I cut the cord and gave Adrienne a giant hug and kiss.

Then things got crazy. It took a few moments, but I noticed that a lot of people were gathering around Ben at the table across the room. I cannot explain how absolutely terrifying it is to witness a delivery and then realize that the baby is not crying. Adrienne was being stitched up and could not see what was going on, but I watched in horror as my baby rested motionless on the table as doctors and nurses tried desperately to resuscitate him. Minutes passed by and none of the doctors or nurses said a word to us. We knew it was bad, and at that point I started dealing with the possibility that our baby was dead. I crumpled to my knees and cried out to God in groans that only his Spirit can interpret.

But the doctors and the nurses kept working and working. Eventually they told us that there was a blockage in the baby's throat that was keeping them from getting sufficient oxygen into the baby's lungs. The nurses were hand pumping oxygen into him, but he was barely hanging on. They realized that a surgeon would be needed to do an emergency tracheostomy so they could bypass the blockage. We sat there stunned in the delivery room with Benjamin for two hours while all of this was going on.

When the surgeon finally came, the three of us were taken out of the room. One of the doctors let us know that we needed to prepare ourselves because there was a good chance Benjamin wouldn't make it. Well he did make it, and the surgeon came in and told us that they were moving Ben to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). She said that things did not look good at all for him because of all the trauma he had already endured, but they would do all they could to keep him going. We found out that Ben's esophagus and trachea had not formed properly and that he would need further surgery to repair the birth defect.

After all of this, I can't tell you how discouraged I was. I knew in my mind that God could do anything, but my heart had a more difficult time believing that there was any hope for Ben. Many people from the Memorial Drive Church of Christ came up to pray with us throughout the day and lifted up our spirits up during a very dark hour.

There are many other stories I can tell you about the last three days, but I'll finish up with this one. After they moved Benjamin down to the NICU, they let us go down to see him, and we finally got the chance to touch our little one. I wept so much when I saw my innocent child hooked up to so many machines. Babies shouldn't have to go through any of that. But I came in the next day and had a chance to be with him by myself. I had the urge to tell him a Bible story so he would at least know something about God before he went to see him. For some reason, I began to tell him the story of Jesus walking on the water and how amazing it was to the disciples - they thought they saw a ghost. But Peter told Jesus that he wanted to come out on the water with him. Jesus told him to come so Peter started to walk out to him, but he looked out at his surroundings and began to drown. Jesus pulled him out, and said "You of little faith, why did you doubt?" I realized then that I will not doubt Jesus any more. My baby is still alive and while he is still alive, I will have hope, not despair. And if God takes him from me, I will have faith and not doubt that I will see him again at God's right hand.

Here's where Benjamin stands right now:
Benjamin was born on December 31st at 5:35 in the morning. He weighs 7 pounds 6 ounces and is 19 and a half inches tall (I like that better than long). He is in critical condition in the NICU and has a respirator keeping him going right now. He is receiving many medications that he will need to get off of before he can have more surgery to repair his trachea and esophagus. It will probably be a couple of weeks before that surgery would be possible. If that is successful, he would next have a brain scan to see if there was any damage due to the low oxygen levels that he had in the first few hours of his life. The doctor said Ben would need to be in the hospital for several months in order to recover from all of this. We serve a God who can heal Ben completely, and I hope that you will pray for that. But I also hope that you will pray for God to give our family the strength to handle whatever he decides should happen. Thanks for reading this, and I will post more news here as I have the strength to write it.

God's peace be with you all,
Whit, Adrienne, and Benjamin